A Baffling Exchange
Photo Credit: Emily Giacomini
A few weeks ago, I ventured into a new experience with a couple of friends. We dined at a Vietnamese restaurant in a popular Asian center. Awaiting my companions, I took the plunge and said yes when the waitress pointed to a mixed appetizer for the table. As we didn’t share a common language, our communication relied on gestures and photos on the menu.
Once my friends arrived and we’d settled in, we sampled the plate and expanded our taste buds! Following a few failed attempts to use an online translator, we had managed to order our main courses, a bit unsure of what might actually arrive. Out of curiosity, we tried all the options on the sampler and enjoyed some more than others, ultimately leaving a good portion untouched. I pushed the appetizer dish to the edge of the table, putting my smaller serving dish on top to simplify the collection process for the waitress. To our surprise, when she next approached, she moved the unfinished items to my little used dish and put it back on the table for us, removing the larger plate! I looked at my friends, a bit baffled. We laughed and carried on with our entrees.
At the end of the evening as we were sorting out the checks, the waitress pointed to the (still full) little dish of left-over appetizers and said, “to go box?” I shook my head and again pondered what had seemed evident to me- that we were done with the starter. How had I miscommunicated? Without the benefit of a common tongue, what would have made it clear that we were finished with the plate? While I don’t yet have the answer, what the scenario helped me see was just how easy it is to get caught up in our own assumptions that we are communicating well, only to end up bewildered by someone else’s response.
International leaders- what was the last thing you did that produced an unexpected result? Was it surprise or frustration that bubbled to the surface for you? What would it look like to explore a bit deeper, assuming you have a shared language by which to communicate with your team members?
In my case, this was a one-time exchange as I’ll probably explore another restaurant the next time I’m up for a culinary adventure. When you’re influencing a team over the long haul, however, it may be crucial to dig a bit deeper into the sub context and then partner with the whole team on creating desirable outcomes. Leaders- what will be your inkling to stop and consider when communication isn’t serving its purpose?
May all become clear as you uncover intentions and find a renewed direction!